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After doing analysis on low carb bread recipes, we created a spreadsheet that allowed us to balance protein, fibre, seeds, yeast, and sugar for raising. This loaf is the outcome. It really does taste and behave like real bread, and does not require outrageously difficult ingredients. We’ve put a video of making one here on the youtubes. If you fancy a downloadable PDF it’s here. Or just read on.


A very, very seedy loaf, and if you didn’t tell anyone it was low carb they would never guess. While fairly ketogenic, it is not low in calories – upwards of 2,400 kcal or 9,000kJ – and you’ll only want a slice or two a day so this is definitely family-sized. If you have a smaller breadmaker, you can reduce the recipe by 2/3. The malt in it will be partially fermented by the yeast, so won’t contribute too much to carbohydrates. Unless, of course, you lick the spoon…


½ Cup Sunflower kernels

½ Cup Pumpkin kernels

½ Cup Linseed (flax seed)

½ Cup Sesame seeds

1½ tsp Salt

1 tsp Instant yeast, heaped

25g Rye flour

135g Wheat gluten

30g Olive oil or butter

40g Oat fibre

2 tsp Malt, heaped

½ tsp Lecithin

1 Beaten egg

170ml Cold water


Put the 4 seeds in a 2l microwaveable container with 100ml of water, add the salt, stir, and microwave on full for 1½-2 minutes to make a seedy porridge. That’s 75g of each by weight, but you can halve that if it’s too seedy for you. Leave it to cool slightly and absorb the liquid. You can leave them to soak for 6 hours instead.

Put the blade in the breadmaker – important – and place the breadmaker tin on scales. Add the heaped spoon of yeast (or use a packet) first so you don’t boil it with the hot porridge. Add the remaining ingredients. Dump 170ml of cold water and warm porridge on top. We use the water to rinse out the egg beating equipment, and you might find you need slightly less water depending on the general humidity.

Set breadmaker to make a medium (850g) wholemeal loaf. Leave it to cool and firm up before cutting or the seeds will tear loose. Slice it fairly thin. If it collapses, use less water next time.

This toasts and so forth much like ordinary rye bread and keeps well.

V1.0 ©2020 GFDL Applies

This is “Nell Olliver’s Superb Pineapple Cake” as made by our Gran, Eleanor Ruth Olliver, and scoffed wholesale by Vik as she drove him home from school. Some of these details are things he remembers, but the basic recipe was provided by Aunty Mary. If you like a rich cake with a soft crumb that sticks to your ribs, this is the one to make.

170g Soft brown sugar
110g Butter
Sml tin Crushed pineapple
225g Plain flour
2½ tsp Baking powder
½ tsp Salt
2 Eggs
110g Glacé cherries
340g Mixed dried fruit
1 tsp White sugar

Put all the contents of the tin of pineapple, the sugar, and butter into a saucepan big enough to stir all the ingredients in and bring to the boil. Cut the heat, dissolve the sugar as best you can, and let it all cool off enough to not scramble the eggs.
Gran would set her oven to Gas Mark 2 to warm up at this point, which these days is 130C for a fan oven, and 140C for an ordinary electric one.
Gran bought self-raising flour, which was invented in 1845 by the British baker Henry Jones for the admiralty as an alternative to broken hard tack biscuits. We buy plain flour in bulk and just add our own baking powder and salt. Either way, put that in the saucepan with the eggs, glacé cherries, and dried fruit. Mix thoroughly.
A loaf tin was the container of choice for Gran, and I recall she lined it with buttered greaseproof paper. Pack the mixture in, and leave the surface a little rough so it goes crunchy. Assist this by sprinkling a little white sugar over the top.
As a loaf shape, this takes about 1¼ hours to cook. Allow it to cool on a rack for as long as you can before scoffing the lot.
It keeps well, in theory anyway.

V1.0 (C)2020, GFDL Applies

Printable PDF here.

On our YouTube page we promised you our cauliflower curry recipe in a video.

It’s our favourite way of dealing with cauliflower, and a change from cauliflower cheese. it takes an hour or so to put together and the smell is amazing. You can make it with a whole tin of tomatoes rather than fresh, leave out the water at the end. We generally serve it with a dal and rice.

Yes, this is a romanesco. It’d work, but the video uses cauliflower.


  • 1 Onion, medium
  • 4 Garlic cloves, squished, skinned
  • 1 Thumb-sized lump fresh ginger
  • 1 Cauliflower, nice, big
  • ½ tsp Ground turmeric
  • 1½ tsp Salt
  • 120ml Cooking oil
  • 1 Tomato, medium (or a tin)
  • 1 Heap of fresh coriander
  • ¼ tsp Cayenne or hot paprika
  • 2 tsp Ground coriander
  • 2 tsp Ground cumin
  • ½ tsp Garam masala
  • 15ml Lemon juice


Roughly chop the onion, garlic and ginger and put them in the blender with the turmeric, salt and enough water to make it all blend smoothly. Blend it smoothly.

Break up the cauliflower into florets roughly 20mmx50mm max. Wash, drain, evict wildlife. Chop up the tomato and fresh coriander, squeeze your lemon, sort out your spices.

Warm the oil in a heavy pan that takes a lid. Fry the paste (explosion warning) for about 5 mins and don’t worry if it sticks. We’re aiming for the oil to separate out a bit.

Put in the tomato, and coriander and boil that down for a few minutes, then add everything else and simmer. If you’re using fresh tomato, put in about 60ml of warm water or it’ll dry out and burn. Stir it all up and cook for 30-45 mins depending on how you like your cauliflower.

Goes great with rice & peas, or flatbread. Keeps well in the fridge, and can be cooked in advance and left on standby.

V1.0 (C)2019, GFDL Applies

We’re working up a bit of a tour for our Fab Lab, and we need these pictures on the web for it. So, might as well show the world:

Tamara accepting her prize at “New Zealander of The Year 2018”
A batch of young students being instructed to “not look down the laser with their remaining eye.”

There, that should do it. Now back to your scheduled programming.

As promised on our YouTube site, the recipe for the famous wholegrain cheese straws. PDF at the bottom of the page for those who want to print it.

These are really savoury cheese straws, with a decent crunch. They have a pretence of being vaguely healthy with seeds and grains in them – we use the same mix of oats, kibbled grains, linseed, sunflower seed and so forth as our “Ollenburg loaf” but mix your own to suit or just use oats. Also, a good way of using up excess pastry, and yes we do put seed mix in our pastry for savoury tarts.


½ cup Grain/seed mix

1 tsp Soy sauce

70g Butter, or lard and butter

140g Flour

1 tsp Garlic powder

¼ tsp Cayenne or hot paprika

1 tsp Salt

Some Cold milk

1 cup Grated strong cheese

flour and oil to grease tray


Well in advance, put the grains and seeds in a small bowl with ½ cup of water. Leave for 3-4 hours. You can just microwave the grains in some water and wash them under the cold tap if you’re rushed, but they must be cold before they’re added.

Put lumps of cold, hard butter, the flour, garlic powder, cayenne and salt in the food processor. Give it 10 second on/10 second off pulses until there are no lumps of butter. Put in the grains and soy sauce. Turn on low. If it doesn’t start to clump together, dribble in milk until it only just does. Stop processor, bring mix together by hand, wrap and chill for ½ hour.

Set the oven to 180C or 160C fan. Grate cheese. Grease and flour large baking sheet. Flour and roll out pastry to 5mm thick, cover 2/3 with cheese, fold the empty 1/3 over half the cheese, then fold it to cover the rest of the cheese. Fold square. Flatten, fold up again, and flatten into long shape 6mm thick and about 100mm wide. Cut into 8mm “straws” and transfer to the baking sheet.

Bake for approx 15-20 minutes until you see browned cheese and the straws are not moist. The phrase “golden brown and delicious” was invented for these straws.

Cool on a rack. In theory keeps in a biscuit tin for weeks. In practice they evaporate spontaneously.

V1.0 Vik Olliver (C)2019, GFDL Applies

With the operation largely behind us, and many other calamities dealt with, there are already a heap of new Geeko Farm videos out on Youtube here. We’re back with a vengeance and a new Fab Lab. The greenhouse has been a bit neglected, and has been cleared out and restarted. The still is being warmed up to brew schnapps and even brandy. Plus of course, fire, mayhem, and !!!DOG!!!

[Warning: This is frank stuff concerning surgery on male genitalia]

Take heart, guys, I did it and it worked out fine. The internet abounds with people who had problems with this, because the ones who don’t have a problem don’t have much to write about. As with most men, I panicked like hell when I found out that the lump in my prostate was a cancer. With current technology (circa 2018) this meant one of two things: radiation and hormones, or surgery to remove the entire prostate.

The concept of being on hormone blockers, and having radioactive things in my groin did not appeal. My surgeon informed me that the cancer was relatively large – about 20% the volume of my prostate – and that with a gut ailment made me a poor candidate for radiotherapy. Also surgical recovery in my case would be more rapid, and I would be more likely to recover “function.” The main downside was that instead of relatively non-invasive treatment lasting a year, I’d have to get over open abdominal surgery and re-learn how to use my bladder.

First off, it was very important to keep sight of the primary objective here: get rid of the cancer. I had had a Fusion Biopsy because of aforementioned gut issues, and an advantage of that was a very accurate biopsy of the cancer. It was in one lump and wasn’t going anywhere yet. So I had a life to look forward to.

Until I had the biopsy I was completely symptom free. Absolutely nothing. All worked perfectly as per specification. After the biopsy, the prostate swelled up and I experienced issues urinating, maintaining erections, and for a while there was bruising, and blood in semen and urine. This mostly passed but I was anxious about the erection thing and it put me off my stride. Was this a harbinger of things to come?

You have to wait a few months after the biopsy before the operation. You’ll want to find things to distract you. I spent a record amount of time at the rifle range, and went on a holiday to Europe. I panicked, my use of sleeping pills increased. I became a trifle difficult to deal with. Every little twinge in the groin area was incorrectly blamed on the cancer. Sex was difficult because it was nigh on impossible not to think of the cancer. Worst of all, I could find very little concrete information on what my likely outcome was.

So like many others, I resorted to Dr. Google. I found a lot of things I hadn’t been told, and a huge variation in outcomes for continence, erectile function, and orgasm. I was clearly up against two things:

Firstly, the doctors don’t want to scare you off. Some people might get so worked up they’d rather run off and die. I’m not one of those people and I hope you aren’t either. In fact, I feel much more comfortable knowing what’s going on even if the news isn’t good. Many people I’ve met in the medical profession have difficulty grasping that. Anyway, none of that was helping me.

Secondly, they can’t tell. What I did get from the doc was basically that I had a 50/50 chance of regaining “normal” sexual function, maybe with a bit of help from pills. I’d no longer produce ejaculate, and would lose 10-20mm length off the penis. The bladder would take between 2 and 18 months to become continent, and there were fix-ups if it didn’t want to heal.

Dr. Google gave lots of different numbers. Take your pick. One major problem being nobody has a good definition of “normal” sexual function, an orgasm, or continence. As I discovered, all this means diddly anyway because what’s going on inside you is only finally revealed when the surgeon slices you open and takes a peek. They go in there with intentions, but basically have to deal with what they find. This ain’t like having your tonsils out.

So eventually the big day comes, I go into the city and stay the night in the hotel. You’re on no food or booze, so celebrate the night before. Also there is a “bowel prep.” This makes you crap out the entire contents of your digestive system over about 6 hours, though spasms happen through the night. Two big tips: grease your arsehole well with petroleum jelly before you start, and drink plenty of clear mix-up powder drinks, half strength, to keep you hydrated. Obviously, don’t leave the bathroom door.

The reason for this rigmarole is that when you’re lying down, your prostate rests on top of your rectum. The doc doesn’t want it pushing up, or even worse, moving while they’re doing the delicate stuff and neither do you!

What you want to hear are the words “bilateral nerve preservation.” These days, if the cancer is essentially confined to the prostate, both the sets of nerves on either side of the prostate can usually be preserved. Depending on your anatomy they may almost separate off by themselves (mine were apparently easy) or there may be a bit of shoving and bruising which recovers after a few months.

These nerves don’t relay sensation from the penis, and those that do are safely out of the way. They just control erections. It may come as a surprise, but an erection is not necessary for an orgasm to happen. I found this out after the biopsy. So in short, with modern pills and so forth, if you could orgasm before the operation, you should manage something afterwards.

Will orgasms be the same? Before my operation I had concerns that the doc was rather ambivalent about, so I located a registered sex worker who was happy to just talk about post-operative clients without breaching confidentiality. She knew 6, and they could all reach orgasm. Those who spoke about it all said orgasms were still pleasant but different. Now I’ve been there I can confidently say why: You’ll have no ejaculate, and the vesicles where it is stored will be removed, so you feel no resistance at orgasm. Other than that, things pump away as usual. Some men – like me – find that a small quantity of urine comes out instead. This is no big deal, and if it’s an issue just wear a condom.

So in you go, they cut a slot between groin and navel of a size varying with the elbow room required. They do the prostatectomy and bladder thing, stitch and/or glue you up, and put you in recovery. If you want to see the operation, Johns Hopkins have some excellent videos though some of the actual surgical technology is a bit dated. What this leaves you with is typically a drain in the wound, a couple of little tubes to flush local anaesthetic in through (very effective!), and a honking great catheter.

What I learned from the video was that as well as the prostate and the vesicles, you’ll also part with the neck of your bladder. The sphincter will be preserved, though will take a while to come right, but the bladder neck is reconstructed around aforesaid large catheter. This means they want to leave it in until things have all healed up, because re-inserting one around all the scars and joins is tricky. It has to be a honking great catheter because you’re going to see all manner of blood and bits come down it for some time and they don’t want it to block because of the re-insertion problem.

But when you come round you can ignore all this. Your number one aim at that point is to not throw up, sneeze, or cough. Someone just cut a hole in your abdomen, and if you do you’ll likely painfully pull a muscle like I did. Warning the staff is good. If possible, grab the nearest pillow and hug it tight across your lower abdomen. This will save you a world of hurt.

When back on the ward, take all the pills, rest like a good boy, walk about a little bit, and ignore the catheter. Drink heaps, and bring your own flavourings if it helps. Bring audio books, videos (not comedies, as laughing is no fun yet), music you can listen to for days etc. I did a James Bond movie marathon. Books aren’t as good because the drugs may stop you focusing. I was ravenously hungry, and fortunately Wakefield Hospital food is absolutely amazing. Not often you hear that. Eat plenty of fruit (and drink kiwifruit juice) if opiates bung you up. Straining on the loo is bad. Removal of the drain is no fun, whatever they assure you.

After a few days, they’ll teach you how to care for your catheter, tag you, and release you back into the wild for 5-10 days. They’ll tell you some blood may leak around the catheter. Hah. Be prepared for several ‘leaks’ to come out in one bloody great squirt! Scared the bejesus out of me. Continue to take the pills and eat lots of healthy fruit and veg. You can have a beer at this point. I found a beer was about all I could handle of an evening before feeling a bit off. Still, it was a beer!

When you go back to get the catheter out, which is relatively painless but weird, take some Tena heavy duty incontinence briefs. Do not worry about incontinence underwear or leaks. Any funny looks, respond with “I’m recovering from the bloody cancer.” You now have to learn to pee all over again.

All those cues you got since birth from pressure on the neck of the bladder and on your prostate don’t work anymore ‘cos those bits are missing now. Your bladder will no longer contract at the appropriate moment when you pee, but might catch up a bit later, so widdling starts earlier than you expect and takes longer. Expect a fail or two initially, but you soon get the hang of it and the bladder starts to sync up. Peeing standing up seems easier than when sitting down – don’t forget things have slopped around in the area of your rectum so pooping feels different too. Do your Kegel exercises; in fact, start them well before the operation.

So how bad is the incontinence thing? Well for me, not much of a problem after the first fortnight. I used briefs for the first 4 nights, then heavy pads for a week, and when it was apparent that there really wasn’t much leakage at night I went to light pads and they usually stay dry. At 3 weeks I use light pads just in case during the day, and heavy pads when I go out – while I may have control, when I gotta go, I gotta go and there’s not a lot of warning. But peeing at every opportunity generally does the trick, and so far no accidents out of the house.

So, erections. It’s a big boy thing. I got stirrings while the catheter was still in. I was prescribed sidenafil every other day to promote blood flow and nerve healing. Erections definitely tried to happen around the catheter, and the day after the catheter was out I awoke with a definite surprise down the front of my briefs. Didn’t last long, but hey. A couple of days later orgasms worked. Now I’m 3 weeks on and with the help of the sidenafil I could in theory manage sex. However the abdominal surgery has to heal up properly first, and I don’t want to herniate myself. By the time that’s done, I might not need the pills but I have to take them for 3 months anyway.

So in summary, whatever horror stories you read on the internet, it can all go remarkably well. If you or your partner are still lucky enough to have a prostate, please get it tested regularly so that if anything does happen to it your surgeon can give you the same smooth outcome that I got.

Vik :v)

We’ve heard of people growing gardens on top of straw bales, and inspired by this are using hay bales to form a raised border. Growing on top of hay bales direct is probably not a good idea as the grass seed will all sprout between your, er, sprouts. So we’re loading chipped stuff fromt he olive grove, cat litter, chicken coop sweepings etc. in there, then loading purchased topsoil on to cap it off. This and other goings on are documented in our latest video “Earth, Wind and Fire.”

Oh, we’re surviving the earthquakes with little real impact other than the occasional power cut. As you can see, we’ve retained the capacity to brew a cuppa!



Now the initial batch of hydroponic runs are up and, er, running we’ve gathered enough confidence to do a video on how we add runs to the system. We’ve run out of the 100mm x 150mm runs (at least ones of any reasonable length – there was a run on them) so we’ve run out a 100mm x 75mm run with smaller holes for smaller tubs. These are just fine for our intended crop: strawberries. If you want to run through the video, run over to and check it out.

Hydroponic Strawberries

We’ve done our first ever olive harvest, and boy was that an education! Many thanks to Bill Hay from The Olive Press in Greytown for their invaluable advice. The long and the short of it is that over 3 days a bunch of us rattled, sorted and shifted 840kg of olives which got pressed into 100 litres of premium olive oil. Now we know what to expect, we’ll be doing it a bit differently next year but the principles are now understood.

Here’s the video, click to play:

Screenshot from 2_olive_oil.wmv

There was a bit of a chaotic moment at the mill when the council temporarily shut it down. The council had given permission for the press to run, but when push came to shove found their sewerage systems were not as capable as they’d thought and told the press to hold off. Bill and his capable crew arranged holding tanks and did an amazing job of keeping our stored produce in good shape, and despite the council’s best efforts gave us an awesome load of the good oil.

There’s a lot more to this olive oil thing than we squeezed in, and we’ll get into more details in coming episodes.